For those of you that know me well, you know that I don't often get the best sleep. Last night was one of those nights. I awoke at 2 and stayed awake until just after 4. Often these night awakenings are caused by anxiety... last night was no different. As I poured out my heart to God trying to figure out what his plans are in all of this I heard his still small voice... "I know the plans I have for you, rest in me." I may not know the plans, but He does. Who am I to question? I must trust and rest in Him today. After conversations with three close friends over the last day God has reaffirmed that it is about Him not me!
The words that brought encouragement:
~We are here for Kingdom purposes not our own pleasures
~Satan is the master of confusion
~This is our hell and we will get our perfection in heaven
We are still waiting... the home study is done, and although very intrusive, long, and emotionally draining, it went very well. It is amazing to see how it all came together and to see our lives written out on paper and realize that who we strive to be is who we were perceived as. We were very humbled by those who gave references for us. You are all an encouragement to us and we love you! Our home study writer recommended us with flying colors, although her only concern is our finances. As the other three groups of people read through our home study we trust that if God truly wants to lead us down this path the concern will be mitigated. So often in our life finances are not stable. At any time someone can lose a job, unknown circumstances come up... when we trust in God to provide and not allow ourselves to become slaves to money, He proves faithful. And so, we put our trust in Him.
So today, I sit here still wondering if we will be chosen to be Baby C's forever family. Our life and his life is still in the hands of the government. Only God knows how long it will take for our home study to be read by neccessary social workers. As I sit and wait and wonder, I know that God is bigger then all of this. "I know the plans I have for you" is my peace today. May you be encouraged that God has you in his hands as well when you trust in Him!
From the message: Philippians 4:6,7
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
